Effective Coaching                 

The Art, Science, and Practice of Personal and Professional Development

By: Vadim Kotelnikov

Founder, Ten3 BUSINESS e-COACH – Your 360 Achievement Catalyst, 1000ventures.com, 1000advices.com, and Success360.com


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"Coaching is about improving the individual's capacity to focus, learn, and innovate." 

"You cannot teach a person anything; you can only help him find it within himself.

– Galileo Gallilei


The Tao of Coaching

  1. YIN (passive, accepting side). Removing Barriers: listening, reducing interference such as fear and doubt, removing barriers to learning, and focusing attention of the player.

  2. YANG (active, aggressive side). Challenging: asking coaching questions, inspiring and energizing others the player, helping him to create or think something through for himself.

Your People Skills 360

Coaching Yourself Effective Listening Effective Questioning Inspiring People Energizing people Effective Coaching

12 Effective Leadership Roles

  • Bring out best in your men; have common touch with them; coach and provide feedback... More

5 Strategies for Creating a Culture of Questioning

COACHING in the WORKPLACE: List of Activities

Inspirational Leadership

10 Roles

  • Coach and train your people to greatness... More

Coaching Benefits - Executive Coaching: Key Benefits

Three Keys to Effective Coaching

  1. Questioning

  2. Listening

  3. Observing

Coaching at Work: The Twin Concept4

  • to help players (or coachees) to grow, and to enhance their performance and learning ability

  • to increase the coach's effectiveness as a leader

Art, Science, and Practice of Coaching

  1. The Art – asking effective questions

  2. The Science – learning people skills, achievement management, effective motivation, and performance measurement

  3. The Practice – listening, providing feedback, and organizing coaching sessions

Five Myths of Coaching4



We coach primarily to help others.

There are many tangible, selfish and acceptable reasons, such as more time for yourself, better customer relations skills, stronger organization, more fun at work, and stronger following, for one to be a great coach.

Focus on the player.

Know yourself – knowing how to overcome own psychological blocks.

Coaching equals feedback.

There are many other important coaching tools and habits such as the art of effective questioning and motivation techniques.

Coaching requires lots of time.

The best coaching comes in small doses.

Coaching is about work.

Good coaching will spread to other areas of life. Coaching is a life skill that makes coaches better able to help their friends and family.

What the Coach Does

  • acts as an external expert observer making sure that the player's aim is true and their actions are congruent

  • helps players identify and define their specific goals, and then organize themselves to attain these goals

  • provides help in motivating and keeping the players motivated to reach their goals

Basic Components of Coaching

  • dealing essentially with the development of skills through practice

  • analyzing the components of particular skills, techniques and the environment in order to assist the learners

  • setting increasingly challenging exercises

  • seeking to identify problems or weaknesses to be remedied

  • spotting potential, building on strengths and taking advantage of talent and opportunity.

Basic Tools of Coaching

Coaching versus Formal Training




One-time event

Day-to-day application of skills

Test practicing

Real-time control and feedback

No application feedback

Coaching versus Mentoring



Building an individual's personal cross-disciplinary skills

More job-specific person-to-person teaching

Helping clients to apply themselves personally in new ways

Helping clients to learn functions they've never done before

Give and take approach to learning, requires a lot of listening

Passing along of one person's knowledge to another

Dealing with Cultural Differences4


Implication for the coach

Directness (get to the point versus imply the messages)

Tailor coaching sessions and style of feedback appropriately

Hierarchy (follow orders versus engage in debate)

Position coaching relationships carefully vis ΰ vis organizational reporting relationship

Consensus (dissent is accepted versus unanimity is needed)

Select appropriate style from the ask/tell repertoire: tell what and how; give advice; demonstrate; make suggestions; ask questions and paraphrase

Individualism (individual winners versus team effectiveness)

Focus on personal achievement and/or on teamwork accordingly

Building a Team Culture

10 Action Areas

  1. Provide coaching... More

Discover Yourself

Be the Best Possible

Illusion or Reality? Question Your Assumption

Creating Joy: 8-Step Emotional Transformation Recipe

People Skills


The Tao of Communication

Confucius about Communication

Effective Listening

12 Rules of Effective Listening

12 Active Listening Tips

10-Step Guideline for Resolving Inner and Outer Conflict: a Yoga Approach


Bad Feedback vs. Good Feedback

Smart Corporate Leader

10 Roles of An Inspirational Leader

12 Breakthrough Ideas for the New Economy

Success Secrets

The Law of Belief

Don't Quit

The 4 Most Deadly Words

The Golden Hour

How To Make Better Decisions

Combine Life Vision and Life Strategy

Act from a Sense of Urgency

3 Rules for Developing Courage


10 Secrets of Creativity

Entrepreneurial Creativity

Get Away from Old Ideas

Effective Selling

Selling by Coaching

Global Business Learning Report – What leaders strive to excel at

Self-Improvement     Leadership

Free Ten3 Micro-courses

Personal Success 360

  Ten3 Mini-Courses   Presentation:    View    Download

Your People Skills  (40 slides)

Personal Success 360  (75 slides)   Demo

New Management Model  (45 slides)

SMART Leader (50 slides)

Inspiring Culture  (60 slides)

Coaching Defined

Coaching is the art and practice of inspiring, energizing, and facilitating the performance, learning and development of  the player. (Myles Downey7)


Each word in this definition is a key word:

  • art – though there is science to coaching, coaching is an art in the sense that "when practiced with excellence, there is no attention on the technique: the coach is fully engaged with the player and the process of coaching becomes a dance between two people, conversationally moving in complete harmony and partnership. At this point the intelligence, intuition and imagination of the coach become a valuable contribution - rather than being interference for the player."7

  • inspiring – coaching is about helping the player to unlock his or her true potential through raising awareness, inspiring new ideas and encouraging creativity

  • energizing – coaching is about energizing the player through effective communication, soliciting suggestions, and building a can-do attitude

  • facilitating – implies that the player has the capacity to have an insight or creative idea and to think something through for himself

  • performance – anything a coach says or does should be driven by the intention to improve performance, i.e. to achieve greater effectiveness or efficiency of the player

  • learning – refers to a broader domain, how to approach a task or master a new technology; looking beyond immediate objectives, the future performance of the organization depends on learning

  • development – refers to personal growth and greater self-awareness.7

The Goal of Coaching

The goal of coaching is to guide vision, urge excellence, and empower the one being coached – the player – through establishing a firmer connection with his or her inner authority.

Facilitating Individual Performance

Performance of an individual = potential + attitude - interference.

Interference creates a huge gap between the potential and performance. It is usually based in fear, uncertainty and doubt (FUD).9 Interference crops up in many forms, but nothing gets in the way of peak performance more than doubt.7 You can reduce interference by focusing attention of the player. When the player's attention is focused, he enters a mental state – the state of relaxed concentration – in which he can learn and perform at his best.8... More

Zen Proverbs, Sayings, and Quotes

Great Faith. Great Doubt. Great Effort. – The three qualities necessary for training... More

Bad Feedback vs. Good Feedback

Bad Feedback: Demotivates, focuses on blame; creates defensiveness and confrontation

Food Feedback: Encourages, focuses on improvements – achieved or possible; creates trust and cooperation... More

Growing Role of Non-directive Coaching

During 1990s, coaching became one of the "hot" areas of personal, professional, and business development. There is in-build limitation in training and consulting, as well as directive coaching that involves directing, telling and instructing, which is the person giving advise or instruction has to know the answer already, or has to be able to work it out. Given the complex structure in most organizations as well as constantly and rapidly changing business environment in today's knowledge-driven economy, that is an unrealistic proposition.


Non-directive coaching that involves inspiring, asking effective questions, summarizing, paraphrasing, reflecting, and listening can help you and the player you are coaching achieve amazing results. If you adopt non-directive approach, people learn in minutes things that would take you, operating from a more conventional directive model, hours to teach.

Benefits of Coaching

"Coaching brings more humanity into the workplace," says  Myles Downey7. "Effective coaching in the workplace delivers achievement, fulfillment and joy from which both the individual and organization benefit:"

  1. Achievement means "the delivery extraordinary results, organizational and individual goals achieved, strategies, project and plans executed. It suggests effectiveness, creativity, and innovation. Effective coaching delivers achievement, which is sustainable. Because of the emphasis on learning and because the confidence of the player (the coachee) is enhanced ('I worked it out for myself!') the increase in performance is typically sustained for a longer period and will impact on areas that were not directly the subject of coaching."7

  2. Fulfillment includes learning and development. "To achieve the business result is one thing, to achieve it in a way in which a player learns and develops as part of the process has a greater value - to the player, the coach (the line-manager) and the organization, for it is the capacity to learn that ensures an organization's survival."7 Fulfillment also includes the notion that individuals through coaching begin to identify goals that are intrinsically rewarding. "With fulfillment comes an increase in motivation. That the coach respects the player his ideas and opinions, that the player is doing his work in his own way, that he is pursuing his own goals and is responsible - all this makes for a player who is inspired and committed. In this way more of the energy, intelligence and imagination of each individual is brought to the service of the organization."7

  3. Joy. Enjoyment ensues when people are achieving their meaningful stretch goals and when learning and developing is part of the process.

These three components – achievement, fulfillment, and joy – are synergistically interlinked and the absence of any one will impact and erode the others. "Learning without achievement quickly exhausts one's energy. Achievement without learning soon becomes boring. The absence of joy and fun erodes the human spirit."7

Focusing on the Person, Not the Subject

Coaching is the key to unlocking the potential of your people, your organization, and yourself. It is based on the concept that individuals learn most from the everyday application of skills and by trying things out in practice.

"Not only is there no established body of knowledge called coaching, but the coach often has less expertise that the one being coached. The coach does not need to impart knowledge, advice, or even wisdom. What he or she must do is speak and act, in such a way that others learn and perform at their best."7

The coaching is all about helping others to identify and define their specific goals, and then organize themselves to attain these goals. Coaching deals with building an individual's personal skills, from setting the goals, to communication to management style to decision making and problem solving. Coaches draw upon a client's inner knowledge, resources and creativity to help him or her be more effective. It is about bringing the same structure and creativity to your interaction with colleagues as you bring to solving business problems.

Two-Way Benefits of Coaching

Coaching is a long-term strategy, but the benefits of managerial coaching are two-way:

  1. For employees: improved performance, greater enthusiasm, and greater job satisfaction.

  2. For managers: improved communication, motivation, delegation, employee empowerment, planning, and monitoring skills

Increasing Role of Coaching at Work

The new breed of leaders recognizes that in today's complex business environment autocracy no longer works, yet the empowerment alone is not enough.  In the new economy driven by knowledge, new emphasis on people development and employee empowerment is driven by several powerful forces4:

  1. Delayering – a trend toward reducing the number of management levels in organizations' hierarchies. Growing importance of cross-functional teams. Jobs and roles are no longer prescribed and static, so no longer can bosses just go on telling subordinates exactly what to do. Successful companies are now those in which people communicate freely, cross-pollinate their ideas, and learn new skills and habits from each other, and in which managers are also coaches.

  2. Changes in the labor market - people are more mobile, and the most successful companies are focusing more on bringing out their employees' potential in order to retain their best performers.

  3. Rapidly changing business conditions, markets and technologies - company can no longer rely on providing employees with regular off-the-job training courses. Training now had to be continuous, on-the job, and just-in-time – i.e. by coaching.

Balanced Organization: 5 Basic Elements

Corporate Leadership (Fire):

Coaching versus Micromanaging

Micromanagement won't work when teamwork and continuous innovation is a priority. Although micromanagement can build discipline, it keeps employees locked within a limited range of action. When micromanagers relax their grip and switch to a coaching approach, the organizations reporting to them often flourish because the staff has the opportunity to utilize and demonstrate its full potential.3 Instead of to do what they have to do to please their boss, team members are encouraged to see how hard and smart they can work to help achieve organizational mission.

Beware however of moving too far toward coaching. Finding the right balance between management, leadership, and coaching styles is the true sign of an inspired and effective manager.

Modern Management: 12 Breakthrough Ideas

Source: Harvard Economic Review Executive summary by Anastasia Bibikova.

The best ideas related to the practice of management. If you know somebody has used them, don’t try to repeat. Simply consider them, debate them and let them inspire your own thinking!...

8. The Use of Giving Alms: There is no use giving alms to those who need assistance. Why should you be too much compassionate to people who are just looking  for 2-3 “coaching” words to find their own way/ solution?... More

Executive Leadership Coaching

Today, corporate leaders must be coached on a regular basis. Constant, rapid and unpredictable change require high flexibility in leadership.


The pressure on managers and employees is increasing. In these turbulent times, coaches help managers refine their goals and strategies, reassess their assumptions,  and develop their leadership style. Goal and competence orientation are keys to successful coaching.

Coaching is not consulting and it is not supposed to enter into that established domain of professional activity. Coaching executive leaders involves doing each of the following four steps with professional competence and consistency:

  1. Learning specifically what will it take to help your clients to be winners in their own right

  2. Developing yourself to be who you need to be to assist your clients in achieving theirs goals

  3. Assisting your clients to identify and define their specific goals and organize themselves to achieve these goals

  4. Communicating what you do in such a way that it builds the confidence and trust so that your clients allow you to work with them on behalf of their own success.

Coaching and Self-Coaching with the GROW Model

The GROW (Goal, Reality, Options, Wrap-up) model is one of the most common coaching tools. The framework provides a simple four-step structure for a coaching session.

To improve your performance and develop a roadmap to your personal success, you can also use the GROW model on yourself: identify specific goals you wish to achieve; assess the current situation; list your options and make choices; and, finally, make steps towards your goal specific and define timing... More

12 Active Listening Tips

  • Be aware of biases and perceptions. Control your biases and validate your assumptions.

  • Encourage the speaker, provide feedback and paraphrase to show you are listening... More

Managing Cultural Differences

When coaching someone from a different culture, use cross-cultural differences management techniques and skills, in particular4:

  • Remember that cultural difference arise from different origins: birthplace; nationality; ethnicity; family status; gender; age; language; education; physical condition; sexual orientation; religion; profession; place of work and the corporate culture of the previous employer.

  • Cultural differences can result in higher or lower levels of perceived performance, and in more or less need - and acceptance of feedback.

  • Be explicit with yourself and with your multinational team members about the implications of the cultural differences.

  • Commit to building shared values and shared expectations - in terms of management style, need for creativity, adherence to deadlines, frequency of progress checks, etc.

Selling by Coaching

To be a great salesperson, you must treat your prospective customer as a player who wants to achieve extraordinary results. You are to help the player win.... More

Business e-Coaching

To build sustainable competitive advantage for the new knowledge-driven economy and compete successfully in the rapidly changing marketplace, companies need  continuous coaching and learning support to be provided to all their key employees in a continuous and timely way. Responding to these needs, the first-ever online Business e-Coach was developed and launched by 1000ventures.com in 2001... More


 Discover much more in the FULL VERSION of e-Coach

Coaching Involves...

Coaching Toolkit...

Coaching in the Team Context...

Foundation of Successful Coaching...

NLP Solutions: Coaching Yourself...

NLP Solutions: Coaching Others...

Providing Effective Feedback: the AID Model...

Observing - the Key to Coaching...

Dramatic Difference that Coaching Adds to Training...

The Right Combination of Training and Coaching Follow-ups  Leads to Success...

Coaching Spectrum: The Ask/Tell Repertoire..,

Coaching by Questions...

Bad Feedback vs. Good Feedback: Helpful Hints...

Selecting an Appropriate Coaching Style: the Skill / Will Matrix...

Instant Payoff Coaching...

Coaching Organization...

Effective Managers Need to Coach...

 Case in Point  GE...




  1. "Winning as an Executive Leadership Coach," Joseph Riggio

  2. "One on One," Bridget McCrea

  3. "Extreme Management," Mark Stevens

  4. The Tao of Coaching, Max Landsberg

  5. The NLP Coach, Ian McDermott and Wendy Jago

  6. Jack Welch and the GE Way, Robert Slater

  7. Effective Coaching, Myles Downey

  8. "The Inner Game of Work," Timothy Gallwey

  9. Regis McKenna, Silicon Valley marketing expert

  10. “7 Key Elements For Managers To Learn Coaching Skills” by Wendy Hearn

  11. "Why Coaching Is Important," Syntopic Intelligence, October 2005

  12. The Center for Executive Coaching

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